I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately—what is it and why does it matter. I’ve come to a new way of thinking about what kindness is
Kindness is how share joy with each other.
When we share kindnesses with others we are sharing a little of ourselves with the intention of bringing Joy to someone else. It’s a way of acknowledging the other person and saying to them ‘I see you’ through our words and actions.
Being seen, being acknowledged, feeling supported can be such a relief. There is so much about life that is hard and painful, which turns those moments when someone sends kindness our way into such a soothing balm for the soul.
Kindness lessons from walks with Mory the Studio Dog
Mory the Studio Dog is part Chow Chow, part Golden Retriever. Inside the house, he’s a luvvie, playful, sweet, empathetic doggie—a good fren. Outside the house, he’s a protective Chow Chow who gets really activated when he sees other dogs—especially big fluffy ones—or people on bicycles, in strollers, pushing cards, wearing a backpack, wearing a hat, on a skateboard, etc. etc. etc. When he’s activated he barks and jumps around in circles—not unlike the Tasmanian Devil from the Bugs Bunny cartoons.
And, if I’m being honest, it’s a lot. But he and I have learned a lot together over the years—which dogs are more activating for him, the kind of support he needs to stay calm when other dogs are nearby, and which routes and times of day have fewer dogs. Mory has learned that if he sees something activating to look at me and sit to get his treat—which he does about 60-70% of the time, a big improvement.
In the midst of all this work he and I have done together, we’ve noticed which of our other dog-walking neighbors understand and empathize with the work Mory and I are doing together. The neighbors who understand do things like cross the road if they are out with their dogs, wave hello from the other side of the street as they sneak their doggie past us, dip down a different street.
And every time, those actions occur for me as a gift of kindness.
We are all busy, have a lot going on, and it’s not their fault that their dog gets my dog all worked up. Knowing all that and seeing people take a moment to make things a little easier for Mory and for me fills me with relief and joy. I feel seen and acknowledged by their actions
Kindness is an action, a gift of joy you can give to someone else.
Sarah